Diabetes? Really?

Today has been surreal. My sister went to a doctor's appointment early this morning because she has been waking up several times during the night to pee and she has been fatigued and thirsty a lot lately. The doctor checked her blood sugar, and immediately sent my sister to the emergency room. Heather has a blood sugar level of 330, which, if you do not know, and I didn't, is significantly higher than normal (normal ranges from 70 - 110). Upon several tests, we found out that Heather has type 1 diabetes. Heather is 19 years old, 5'3" and about 115 lbs. We have no family history of it at all. This has been a complete shock to my family, as nobody had any idea that this was even possible. I visited Heather tonight (my mom is staying the night with her tonight... hopefully she will be released tomorrow) and she seemed in pretty good spirits. She told me that as long as nobody else freaks out, she will be okay. I brought her a zoo animal coloring book, and we both sat in her bed and colored. It was a pretty great moment. If she stays tomorrow night, I will stay with her so my mom can get proper rest at home.

I really crave a relationship with my sister and my parents. I don't think I am very close with any of them. Nobody really knows me, nor does it seem like anybody cares to know me. My mom is super insecure and paranoid and expects that she can only ever be happy if her life becomes less stressful. She allows circumstances to control whether she is happy or not. I told her that she can either BE happy, or continue to wait to be happy. Then she started telling me how she is unhappy because the house is a mess... It really is a never ending cycle. Her mother (my grandma, even though it was my second time meeting her) came and stayed with us last month and the house was SPOTLESS. It did not make her a happy person. She found something else to upset her. For my mom, I wish she would just stop. Stop being stressed, stop complaining, stop being negative, stop being high maintenance, stop being sad, just STOP. I wish she knew how much I desired a relationship with her. I want her to inquire about my life and care about what is going on. As for my dad, he is constantly trying to shield Heather and me from reality. It is painfully obvious that he and my mom are not doing so hot, but he tries and pretends that everything is just fine. They will be fighting, and I'll pass through, and they will stop for a second and my dad will ask me a completely irrelevant question or make a joke, and they will resume as soon as I leave. It is frustrating that he can't be real with us. How can he ever expect us to be close if he is not honest with me? And he also cares much more about the logistics of life than getting to know me. I.e. I lost my job (out of my control, and I was devastated because I loved my job) and the first thing he wants to know is if I can pay for my car payment (I give my dad money each month for my car). Nobody asks if I'm okay, or about how I am doing. As for my sister, she is great, and I love her dearly, but she is selfish. It's always about what she wants (she gets it from my mom I think). We were watching movies the other night and I wanted to watch a scary movie and she wanted to watch Happy Gilmore. We ended up watching Happy Gilmore because I didn't want to fight her. I just wish she had a willingness to find better alternatives so we are both happy, rather than her just get her way. She also has a boyfriend that I am not so fond of, since he practically tore her heart out and stomped on it. I have a hard time being close to her because I do not care for him. I just wish my relationship with my family was better. Although I know I am loved, they don't really show it to me well. I am not the greatest daughter/sister in the world either - I definitely have my hang ups. Why is everything so complicated? Maybe once I move out things will get better...

Why have I suddenly had the intense urge to frequently shout "YAARRRRGG!!"? It came out of nowhere and now it won't go away. YARRGG!